Tuesday, March 19, 2013

Running Shoes and Snow

Running shoes aren't made for wet snow.  Especially not for days when the weather is snow/sleet/rain resulting in deceptive puddles of grey icy water.

Fortunately, my shoes dry out quickly and it was a worthy sploosh. 

I have been given the opportunity by my advisor to have a study week in Boston.  I am using the time to construct my dissertation proposal and all the paperwork that goes with it.  After all my procrastination, I finally completed all my qualifying exams (written exams at the end of 2012, oral comprehensive in January 2013).  My advisor and I agreed that I should capitalize on the momentum and get cracking (not her words, she's too classy) on my dissertation work.


Being away from campus, it's hard to have time to work on my project alone.  There are so many other distractions.  Aside from my own tendency to distract myself with Facebook and other nifty websites, there's my job and my family.  There isn't a library in Houston with the resources that I need.  You'd think in a city as big as Houston that they'd have everything...

I am alternatively confident and terrified at the prospect of my dissertation and research.  I don't want to have come this far to fail now, but it is intimidating to think that this will be my mark on the discipline - and it will open me up to criticism and argument.  Will I be able to face that with detachment or will I get all defensive?  What if the people I am studying hate what I have to say about their work? 

Is it perhaps easier to be distracted with work (I do love my church people) and preparing meals / caring for my family than facing my fears about my work?  It feels as though I've walked up to a grey icy puddle of research...and I know it's cold and messy, and now I'm not sure if I have the courage to step on in and walk on through.

A few years ago I took on training for a 5K because my daughters thought I could - and I didn't.  It took a couple months, but I did the training and completed that 5K.  Ran it three years in a row, actually.  And then started wearing my running shoes for everyday walking around.  Today I wore those shoes into an icy puddle.  Perhaps it's time to start running in them again, and to face my fears of both running and research.

1 comment:

Carol said...

Well I'm not that classy so I can tell you to get cracking!! So glad to see you post.

Xx