Tiger's Statement - It's Not About You

Dear News and Media: Tiger's statement was not about you.

Dear Golf Fans: Tiger's statement was not about you.

Tiger Woods gave a 13 minute statement yesterday. The Golf Writers Association boycotted it because questions would not be taken. It wasn't about questions. After the statement, news reporters stopped people on the street and asked their opinion, many of whom said that the statement didn't change their view of him. It wasn't meant to change their opinion. Sports reporters have analyzed how many times Tiger mentioned "golf" and when he would return to the game. It wasn't about the game.

Many commentators have said that Tiger orchestrated and controlled his statement. It wasn't a press conference, it was a statement. It's not about what you wanted from Tiger, it's not about what you wanted him to give you, and it's not about whatever questions you wanted answered. Others have complained that he was plastic and unemotional. How well do you know Tiger? Do you know how he reacts off the golf course? Have you talked with him about anything other than golf or his foundation work? How do you know what his emotional state was yesterday or any other day?

For anyone who has worked with or been a part of 12 step groups, Tiger's statement made sense. It was a first step toward making amends. The people in the room were those to whom he needed to apologize. He owes nothing to the media. It's not about them. It's about friends, family, and his business associates and what he needed to say to them. His statement was written, of course. He's been in therapy and probably wrote it over time with the guidance of his counselor and sponsor. When you want to say something properly, you write it out. Many people these days are used to informal remarks - hastily written IM messages, text messages, posts on websites. However, given the seriousness of Tiger's situation, a carefully written statement delivered in a somber manner, without the media diverting attention from his purpose was the right way to go.

If Tiger had admitted to being an alcoholic and gone to the Betty Ford Center for treatment, his statements would not be analyzed, people would express sympathy, comedians would be circumspect in their jokes, and cartoons would be few. It's not okay to poke fun at a recovering alcoholic. Somehow in our society though, other addictions are still fair game for derision. Whatever Tiger's issues are, it's clear that he is taking responsibility and addressing them. I believe he deserves respect for that - not because he's an athlete or star, but because he is a human being.

All too often in our world we tear each other apart. We lift up "stars" and expect them to be more than human, and then delight in their fall, kicking them the whole way down. I believe there is another way to be in the world. I believe that it is possible to treat each other with dignity and respect. I believe that it is important to put things in perspective. I believe that not every question must be answered in public forums. There is a time and place for everything. At this time, Tiger Woods' work on his issues is his alone. His marriage is between he and his wife, and their counselors. It's not about you, and it's not about me.