Serenity and Courage

There's not enough time to do all the things I'd like to do - like posting more often, especially now that the semester is in full swing. Toyed with the idea of staying home this morning, but I couldn't do it. I knew that I needed to be in church.

This morning at worship I was really having trouble focusing. It wasn't the service, it was me, and I knew it was just a tough morning. I've often told church members that if they are ever bored in church (mind you, I was saying this as their pastor!) that they should flip through the hymnal. The UMC Hymnal is a great resource, full of prayers and hymns that can speak to us or help us speak to God when we don't have the words ourselves. Now, I did the same thing, flipping through the hymnal.

I came across the Serenity Prayer - Lord, help me to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference. What words of peace and strength.

As I read those words, it occurred to me that so often when I see things that need to be changed, I'm looking at a situation or a person outside myself. What takes more courage than working for change outside myself is working for change INSIDE myself.

Lent is a time for preparation, a time for gut level honesty with one's self, and a time to face God with the humility that such honesty brings. The worship service this morning was good - and I'm sure brought many blessings to those who were there - but for me the blessing came as the Spirit spoke to me through that prayer. I need courage for the journey. I need to accept that where I am right now is part of God's plan. I needed to know that God is with me, has been listening to my prayers, and will continue to be with me as I shift and sort and get more honest with myself.

Grant me the courage to change the things I can - about myself. A prayer of deepest trust and peace, and a gift of strength for the journey.