Quite difficult to spell, but such a lovely word.
Benign: from the Latin benignus, to beget (how ironic!)
1. of a gentle disposition, gracious
2. showing kindness and gentleness
3. of a mild type or character that does not threaten life or health
Yay! :-) I'm bruised but benign. Quite a nice word to receive this All Hallow's Eve. I should have had a bee costume with the number nine on my back today!
In celebration, I watched last week's episode of Amazing Race. They were in Cambodia and mostly at Angkor Wat and Temple Bayon. Such lovely places, and I feel quite sacred. They showed the steep steps that I climbed to reach the higher levels, and the large Buddha statue at Bayon that I took a photo of just before we left. Such a shame they were just running through and not taking time to sit, breathe and enjoy the serenity. How I wish I could get back there!
For now, I will continue to be grateful to God, and to keep focus on my priorities. There's so much work to do. I think I'll avoid looking at the calendar for the rest of this evening, continue my celebration, and think about school again tomorrow.
Bee number nine signing off! :-)
Friday, October 31, 2008
Wednesday, October 29, 2008
The only good needle...
I don't like needles. Well, I suppose the only needles I like are the ones my friend Carol uses on her sewing projects. She's over at http://www.pins--needles.blogspot.com and you can see she's into more than just sewing. Lots of talent there, and I'm envious. All my old pics are in cardboard boxes that have been moved around many times. Nearly ten times moved, I think.
Today was needle day. Went into town to the big (massive)teaching hospital. They might be clinically good, but they just don't have the Southern hospitality like my hosptial back in Texas. I'll take clinical expertise either way, with or without the hospitality, however, as this whole process made me very nervous.
I tried to read for class the couple hours I was there, but an internal dialogue kept interrupting. Have my breasts betrayed me? They were one of my favorite parts of my body, yet just like my hair, they ain't what they used to be. Another voice chimed in, saying that I should love my body, just as she is. Another blog I read (http://acrazyquiltlife.blogspot.com/) recently had a bit on loving your body. Not always an easy thing to do, especially when you're lying on an exam table...waiting, waiting, waiting, and oh so cold.
So I tried to still my mind and pray. Then I tried not to listen to the doctor and radiologist discussing things while they looked at the screen. One of the "spots" was pronounced gone, but then a third look said, well, it's there but small, not worth doing anything over. Hm. The great unknown. Mysteries of the human body and all that.
I now have a band-aid where the needle went. Seems quite odd. And the numbing stuff is wearing off, so I'm a bit sore as well. Fortified with lunch at school, great discussions with new friends, a mug of tea and a big cinnamon roll for dessert (reward for surviving the nasty needle), I am bravely facing the rest of the day. We'll see if I manage to make it all the way through class tonight, and get another paper written.
Never a dull moment, eh? That's meant to be funny. Being this post is all about sharp needles. Get it? Laugh a little at my lame joke, it helps everything feel better!
Today was needle day. Went into town to the big (massive)teaching hospital. They might be clinically good, but they just don't have the Southern hospitality like my hosptial back in Texas. I'll take clinical expertise either way, with or without the hospitality, however, as this whole process made me very nervous.
I tried to read for class the couple hours I was there, but an internal dialogue kept interrupting. Have my breasts betrayed me? They were one of my favorite parts of my body, yet just like my hair, they ain't what they used to be. Another voice chimed in, saying that I should love my body, just as she is. Another blog I read (http://acrazyquiltlife.blogspot.com/) recently had a bit on loving your body. Not always an easy thing to do, especially when you're lying on an exam table...waiting, waiting, waiting, and oh so cold.
So I tried to still my mind and pray. Then I tried not to listen to the doctor and radiologist discussing things while they looked at the screen. One of the "spots" was pronounced gone, but then a third look said, well, it's there but small, not worth doing anything over. Hm. The great unknown. Mysteries of the human body and all that.
I now have a band-aid where the needle went. Seems quite odd. And the numbing stuff is wearing off, so I'm a bit sore as well. Fortified with lunch at school, great discussions with new friends, a mug of tea and a big cinnamon roll for dessert (reward for surviving the nasty needle), I am bravely facing the rest of the day. We'll see if I manage to make it all the way through class tonight, and get another paper written.
Never a dull moment, eh? That's meant to be funny. Being this post is all about sharp needles. Get it? Laugh a little at my lame joke, it helps everything feel better!
Saturday, October 18, 2008
More RevGalsBlogPals fun
We made it down to Hahhhvahhhd but not down to the river for the regatta. Oh well. It was good to spend time wandering through Harvard Square with Celia. Their Divinity School library has lost the book I needed to check out (bummer!) but the walk through Harvard Yard was Very Interesting People Watching. Two crazy guys playing (poorly) with a rugby ball, lots of parents and their college kids, and a wide variety of alumni on campus for reunions.
We ended up in Urban Outfitters and the Harvard band marched by on the street - so random, but what fun! We ran outside and gawked like tourists! lol
For a snack we went to the Au Bon Pain. It was really nice until a smoker came and stood right next to our sidewalk table. He took lots of pictures as he stood there, ignoring how much I was coughing and hacking. The butternut apple soup was really tasty though!
Tonight I read up over at RevGalsBlogPals. They listed a fun Friday Five all about coins. Thought I'd play along:
1) When was the last time you flipped a coin or even saw one flipped in person?
Can't remember the last time I saw one flipped, but James and I flipped a two rand coin when making a decision about our house in Spring. Heads, the house in Imperial Oaks, Tails the house in Breckenridge Forest...
2) Do you have any foreign coins in your house? If so, where are they from?
Obviously we have some from South Africa! James has the big bowl of coins - Turkey, Greece, Vietnam, Cambodia, Germany, Iceland, Mexico, Egypt, Canada...
3) A penny saved is a penny earned, they say. But let's get serious. Is there a special place in heaven for pennies, or do you think they'll find a special place in, well, the other place?
No and no.
4) How much did you get from the tooth fairy when you were a child? and if you have children of your own, do they get coins, or paper money? (I hear there may be some inflation.)
My parents didn't pay for teeth that I remember. Maybe just a quarter? My kids got golden dollar coins.
5) Did anyone in your household collect the state quarters? And did anyone in your household manage to sustain the interest required to stick with it?
James got the girls collector's maps, and they are almost filled up!
We ended up in Urban Outfitters and the Harvard band marched by on the street - so random, but what fun! We ran outside and gawked like tourists! lol
For a snack we went to the Au Bon Pain. It was really nice until a smoker came and stood right next to our sidewalk table. He took lots of pictures as he stood there, ignoring how much I was coughing and hacking. The butternut apple soup was really tasty though!
Tonight I read up over at RevGalsBlogPals. They listed a fun Friday Five all about coins. Thought I'd play along:
1) When was the last time you flipped a coin or even saw one flipped in person?
Can't remember the last time I saw one flipped, but James and I flipped a two rand coin when making a decision about our house in Spring. Heads, the house in Imperial Oaks, Tails the house in Breckenridge Forest...
2) Do you have any foreign coins in your house? If so, where are they from?
Obviously we have some from South Africa! James has the big bowl of coins - Turkey, Greece, Vietnam, Cambodia, Germany, Iceland, Mexico, Egypt, Canada...
3) A penny saved is a penny earned, they say. But let's get serious. Is there a special place in heaven for pennies, or do you think they'll find a special place in, well, the other place?
No and no.
4) How much did you get from the tooth fairy when you were a child? and if you have children of your own, do they get coins, or paper money? (I hear there may be some inflation.)
My parents didn't pay for teeth that I remember. Maybe just a quarter? My kids got golden dollar coins.
5) Did anyone in your household collect the state quarters? And did anyone in your household manage to sustain the interest required to stick with it?
James got the girls collector's maps, and they are almost filled up!
Fiery Fall Colors
It's peak foliage season up here in New England. Last weekend we went apple picking in New Hampshire. The traffic going north was crazy! I guess most of Boston had gone out to see the leaves. We decided to avoid the freeway traffic and take back roads home. Well who knew Vermont was SO far west? LOL We watched the sunset from the rolling mountains of eastern Vermont, and the moon rise over the river and hills of northern Massachusetts. Stunning.
The colors around our home now are at peak color. There is a line of cedars and black locust trees (I think they are black locust trees) behind our home, against the train line. The cedars stay green, but the other trees have gone a beautiful golden color, and the tiny leaves rain down with each stiff breeze.
Today is the Head of the Charles Regatta. Lucky me, I have to go down to the university to study, so I'll get to see all the people, the boats on the water, gorgeous blue sky and the trees, beautiful trees! ~happy sigh~
Time to get outside and enjoy the day... :-)
The colors around our home now are at peak color. There is a line of cedars and black locust trees (I think they are black locust trees) behind our home, against the train line. The cedars stay green, but the other trees have gone a beautiful golden color, and the tiny leaves rain down with each stiff breeze.
Today is the Head of the Charles Regatta. Lucky me, I have to go down to the university to study, so I'll get to see all the people, the boats on the water, gorgeous blue sky and the trees, beautiful trees! ~happy sigh~
Time to get outside and enjoy the day... :-)
Monday, October 13, 2008
dishes
Hurricane Ike has affected so many of our friends in Texas. We've heard from many friends that they got just a bit of water, two feet of water, three feet of water, more than five feet of water. Everyone is living somewhere temporary, ripping out carpet, sheetrock, all their damaged things. A few people lost even more, one family's home was damaged in a tornado, another's home burned down.
Every time I have the pleasure of cooking a meal in my kitchen, sitting down at the table to eat with the girls, and then washing up my own plates and cups in the sink, I give thanks. It is a fragile thing, our ordinary lives. How quickly even the simple things can be washed away.
There is a church in the Texas Annual Conference that is doing something ordinary, yet extraordinary. Their choir and Sunday school classes are collecting Christmas ornaments and lights for Christmas trees. They realize that many people on Galveston Island and Bolivar Penninsula are so busy trying to take care of major housing issues they may not be thinking about Christmas.
My Christmas tree is years of memories. The lights - those belong to James and Mary Grace, the patient and technical people in the family. Some ornaments are from my childhood. So many have been gathered through the years and I'm planning to give them to the girls when they move out on their own. Years of memories, so quickly can be washed away.
I do have a regular time set aside for prayer each day, but now I pray every time I do the dishes too. It's an easy way to remember those who are struggling.
Every time I have the pleasure of cooking a meal in my kitchen, sitting down at the table to eat with the girls, and then washing up my own plates and cups in the sink, I give thanks. It is a fragile thing, our ordinary lives. How quickly even the simple things can be washed away.
There is a church in the Texas Annual Conference that is doing something ordinary, yet extraordinary. Their choir and Sunday school classes are collecting Christmas ornaments and lights for Christmas trees. They realize that many people on Galveston Island and Bolivar Penninsula are so busy trying to take care of major housing issues they may not be thinking about Christmas.
My Christmas tree is years of memories. The lights - those belong to James and Mary Grace, the patient and technical people in the family. Some ornaments are from my childhood. So many have been gathered through the years and I'm planning to give them to the girls when they move out on their own. Years of memories, so quickly can be washed away.
I do have a regular time set aside for prayer each day, but now I pray every time I do the dishes too. It's an easy way to remember those who are struggling.
Thursday, October 9, 2008
forgiveness
One of the daily lectionary readings today is about a "sinful woman". She isn't even named, but she is the central figure in the story (Luke 7:36-50). Jesus is at the home of a Pharisee, one of the important leading men of the synagogue, having dinner. A woman comes in, kneels behind Jesus, washes his feet with her tears, wipes them dry with her hair, and then pours expensive ointment on them from an alabaster jar.
Clearly, it was an expensive jar of oil. How much had it cost her? How long had she saved it?
Clearly, she was deeply moved. Have you ever cried so much that you could wash someone's feet with your tears? Felt so empty after crying that you MUST be dry inside, but then the tears just keep coming, from some deep well of pain and sorrow?
The man who had invited Jesus for dinner declared that Jesus couldn't possibly be a prophet, otherwise he would have known how sinful - how rude - how intrusive - how inappropriate - this woman was.
But Jesus was gentle, merciful, and spoke out loud, not in her defense, but words of forgiveness. Rather than the judgment she herself knew she deserved, Jesus spoke to her deep sorrow and forgave.
A couple years ago I was at a clergywomen's conference in which a pastor spoke about the cost of the oil in her alabaster jar. Another woman sang about the cost of the oil in her alabaster jar. How much had it cost that woman - her pride, her dignity, her last shred of "I've got to hold it all together"? And when she poured it all out at the feet of Christ, she found forgiveness.
I don't know how much the oil in your alabaster jar cost you. No one really knows the cost of another's alabaster jar. Christ does though, and into that deep well of sorrow and shame, he speaks grace, mercy, forgiveness.
A dear friend signs the end of every email with this saying:
Be kinder than necessary because everyone you meet is fighting some kind of battle.
So true - and everyone you meet is carrying their alabaster jar, waiting to pour it out at the feet of Christ. Speak graciously. Offer mercy. And give thanks to God.
Clearly, it was an expensive jar of oil. How much had it cost her? How long had she saved it?
Clearly, she was deeply moved. Have you ever cried so much that you could wash someone's feet with your tears? Felt so empty after crying that you MUST be dry inside, but then the tears just keep coming, from some deep well of pain and sorrow?
The man who had invited Jesus for dinner declared that Jesus couldn't possibly be a prophet, otherwise he would have known how sinful - how rude - how intrusive - how inappropriate - this woman was.
But Jesus was gentle, merciful, and spoke out loud, not in her defense, but words of forgiveness. Rather than the judgment she herself knew she deserved, Jesus spoke to her deep sorrow and forgave.
A couple years ago I was at a clergywomen's conference in which a pastor spoke about the cost of the oil in her alabaster jar. Another woman sang about the cost of the oil in her alabaster jar. How much had it cost that woman - her pride, her dignity, her last shred of "I've got to hold it all together"? And when she poured it all out at the feet of Christ, she found forgiveness.
I don't know how much the oil in your alabaster jar cost you. No one really knows the cost of another's alabaster jar. Christ does though, and into that deep well of sorrow and shame, he speaks grace, mercy, forgiveness.
A dear friend signs the end of every email with this saying:
Be kinder than necessary because everyone you meet is fighting some kind of battle.
So true - and everyone you meet is carrying their alabaster jar, waiting to pour it out at the feet of Christ. Speak graciously. Offer mercy. And give thanks to God.
Monday, October 6, 2008
Now I Know
Well now I know why I've been putting off making myself a doctor appointment - their offices are just awful!
Perhaps I was just spoiled by having such a caring and wonderful staff (admin and nurses) with my ob/gyn when I was pregnant with the girls. Perhaps I was just spoiled by the quiet and gentle care of the entire Methodist Breast Care Center staff. Perhaps I was just spoiled by being able to call directly into my current gyn's nurse - and in spite of having hundreds of patients, she takes time to talk with me and remembers me, even if she only sees me once or twice a year. Heck, even the ultrasound tech remembered me and she'd only seen me twice in her life - and it had been a year since, but she remembered me, asked about my work, my family.
Trying to find a new doctor just stinks. Who do you trust for a referral when you don't know many people in a new city? Yellow Pages? Internet? Not very personal.
Then when you do get a referral - oh, they're top notch, great research facility, all the best, etc so forth - it's a monolithic nightmare. Snippy grouchy people transferring your calls, yelling at you if you don't understand their muffled questions, telling you another number to call, responding to you as if you are an idiot, assuming you know the whole process...
Gah. So there I sat, in tears, trying not to sound crazy as I gave the woman my phone number. My doctor said to transfer the records electronically, why is that such a problem? Why can't I just make an appointment, why must I register with the system first and then wait wait wait for who knows what and who knows who to call me back for an appointment with who knows what doctor? Why don't I get a say in who I see? So much for "patient rights".
You know, it may just be worth that plane ticket back to Houston instead of all this hassle.
Upside is, the orthopedist managed to fit Mary Grace in this afternoon, so we'll know by today what's really up with her arm and whether or not she will be able to play her flute, play the piano, get dressed by herself, etc.
Mondays. What a mixed bag.
Perhaps I was just spoiled by having such a caring and wonderful staff (admin and nurses) with my ob/gyn when I was pregnant with the girls. Perhaps I was just spoiled by the quiet and gentle care of the entire Methodist Breast Care Center staff. Perhaps I was just spoiled by being able to call directly into my current gyn's nurse - and in spite of having hundreds of patients, she takes time to talk with me and remembers me, even if she only sees me once or twice a year. Heck, even the ultrasound tech remembered me and she'd only seen me twice in her life - and it had been a year since, but she remembered me, asked about my work, my family.
Trying to find a new doctor just stinks. Who do you trust for a referral when you don't know many people in a new city? Yellow Pages? Internet? Not very personal.
Then when you do get a referral - oh, they're top notch, great research facility, all the best, etc so forth - it's a monolithic nightmare. Snippy grouchy people transferring your calls, yelling at you if you don't understand their muffled questions, telling you another number to call, responding to you as if you are an idiot, assuming you know the whole process...
Gah. So there I sat, in tears, trying not to sound crazy as I gave the woman my phone number. My doctor said to transfer the records electronically, why is that such a problem? Why can't I just make an appointment, why must I register with the system first and then wait wait wait for who knows what and who knows who to call me back for an appointment with who knows what doctor? Why don't I get a say in who I see? So much for "patient rights".
You know, it may just be worth that plane ticket back to Houston instead of all this hassle.
Upside is, the orthopedist managed to fit Mary Grace in this afternoon, so we'll know by today what's really up with her arm and whether or not she will be able to play her flute, play the piano, get dressed by herself, etc.
Mondays. What a mixed bag.
Sunday, October 5, 2008
in over my head
I do believe that I have gotten in over my head in my studies. I'm reading as fast as I can, but it seems that every time I catch up another student comes up with some penetrating question that I have NO clue what they are talking about. I'm not sure if it's just approaches to the subject that differ or if perhaps they already have a better grasp on things than I do - or maybe it's just that I've got kids and all that comes with that to distract me from studying more. ~sigh~
Back to the books.
Right after I go put in another load of laundry that is.
Back to the books.
Right after I go put in another load of laundry that is.
Saturday, October 4, 2008
Waiting...waiting...
Okay, so I made a post about dates, and the next day James told me I'd missed a friend's birthday. And then I didn't get another friend's card in the mail and settled for an e-card. Still don't know if that gift from online got there. Add those to the lack of posting and I'm just making everyone wait! Not to mention that Carol has my mouth watering waiting for the date muffin recipe now. :-)
I spent most of today waiting in the ER. Mary Grace fell at ice skating practice and hurt her wrist. I think her hip landed on it. It's bad enough for xrays and a temporary cast, but not bad enough for them to say it's broken for sure. We'll go see an orthopedist next week to find out.
Of course, this just caps the week we've had. Last Saturday in the pouring rain, I had a fender bender, so now my car is in the shop getting un-bended. Mary Grace was sick two days and missed school. We postponed our apple picking and fall leaf looking trip, which is good because I have two major presentations next week. As in ... read this 300 page book, write a two or three page summary, a two or three page critical analysis, and be ready to answer questions from classmates on it. Argh!
Monday will be call the doctor day. We need to know if her wrist is really broken or not. And I need to know what's up with the nodule and cyst in my right breast. As if there wasn't enough on my plate already!
Celia is studying up for her driving permit, also practicing madly for the orchestra chair seating audition next week. Both girls are helping with housework while I study, which is very nice.
What an update, huh? :-)
I spent most of today waiting in the ER. Mary Grace fell at ice skating practice and hurt her wrist. I think her hip landed on it. It's bad enough for xrays and a temporary cast, but not bad enough for them to say it's broken for sure. We'll go see an orthopedist next week to find out.
Of course, this just caps the week we've had. Last Saturday in the pouring rain, I had a fender bender, so now my car is in the shop getting un-bended. Mary Grace was sick two days and missed school. We postponed our apple picking and fall leaf looking trip, which is good because I have two major presentations next week. As in ... read this 300 page book, write a two or three page summary, a two or three page critical analysis, and be ready to answer questions from classmates on it. Argh!
Monday will be call the doctor day. We need to know if her wrist is really broken or not. And I need to know what's up with the nodule and cyst in my right breast. As if there wasn't enough on my plate already!
Celia is studying up for her driving permit, also practicing madly for the orchestra chair seating audition next week. Both girls are helping with housework while I study, which is very nice.
What an update, huh? :-)
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