Snowed In, Under, and Around

So when I posted about slowing down and being still for Advent, I didn't mean that we should get so much snow we couldn't get the car out!

If there was any doubt about having a white Christmas, it was erased in a whirl of white on Friday afternoon. It snowed a lot on Friday. And on Saturday. And again on Sunday even more.

The girls made a big snowman on Sunday afternoon. He's going to stand for a while, as our temperatures are supposed to stay cold.

In the meantime, driving the girls to babysitting jobs, to the mall, to various errands... it's an adventure. I grew up in south Texas (wayyy south Texas) and it's flat down there. Snow once every hundred years or so. So I never learned how to drive in a hilly town covered in icy slush or mounds of snow. Slip sliding across the intersections, feeling the car moving in directions I didn't aim it.

Not to mention the half an hour or more it takes just to get it out of the parking spot!

Let me remind myself of how much I like New England in August, when it's only 80 degrees. ~cue summer memories without 100 degrees plus humidity~ Okay, it's all worth it.

Getting Ready for Christmas

Yesterday I talked with a friend in Galveston about the Christmas rush. She's ready to give it all up. Too much rushing around and pressure.

Galveston was hit very hard by hurricane Ike, and many people at my old church have decided not to return. Those who are staying are struggling with rebuilding issues or insurance issues. The insurance companies define "flood" in very particular ways, so that if your flooding doesn't come from rain falling from the sky, you might not be covered. It was the storm surge and high tides that covered much of Galveston, so now many are fighting their insurance company just to cover their losses. Sea water mixed with sewage sitting in your home for a week, whether an inch or several feet, means that you lose quite a lot.

Into that reality comes the typical Christmas rush. Pageants, parties, services, gift exchanges. Organize this group, rehearsals here and there. Bring a tray of cookies, a casserole or finger foods.

For people who work in the church, this is high pressure season. Proofread this, fix these typos, print the bulletins, newsletters, mailings. Discover yet another typo after printing. Order enough candles, check on the costumes, find volunteers, writing sermons, serving at four or more services on Christmas eve, seeing the family only as they sit in their pews and you're up front.

For people who don't work in the church, the pressure of the season to look "normal", to shop yourself silly, to be at all the parties, dress up just so, have the children behave, be cute, be at all the pageants and see Santa, bake the right cookies - all this can be overwhelming.

It's so easy to be caught up into the frenzy, to lose sight of what the season is all about.

Advent isn't yet Christmas. Advent is the season before Christmas, the season in which that frenzy sneaks up on us and takes us unaware. But we can be intentional about slowing down, taking a step back, thinking about what this season means.

Waiting, preparing, anticipating... we are called to be still in this season, to make our hearts ready for the Promised One. We are called to step out of the world's way of doing things (that frenzy) and listen for God. God spoke to Joseph in a dream, to Mary through an angel, to the shepherds through a chorus of angels and brightly shining stars.

These were ordinary people, hard working people. Reminds me of the people in Galveston, working hard to re-build their homes, their buisinesses, their churches. I pray that they can slow down and hear the voice of God this season.

Here where I am, it is the season of longest nights. The sun sets early, we average about seven hours of sunlight a day. It would be easy to let that Christmas frenzy take over, to let the rush of church planning take over, let the pressure to have the "most wonderful time of the year" take over, let the busy-ness compensate for the darkness.

I want to resist the frenzy. Rather, let the season of darkness slow me down. Light candles. Ponder scripture. Be still. Pray. Listen. Watch. Wait. Look at the stars. It's a peaceful way to get ready for Christmas.

This entry is simply an exercise in unwinding my brain after an intense final exam.

I. Put your iTunes/Ruckus/Napster/etc. on shuffle.
II. For each question, press the next button to get your answer.
III. YOU MUST WRITE THAT SONG NAME DOWN, NO MATTER HOW SILLY IT SOUNDS!
IV. Tag friends who might enjoy doing this.

1. IF SOMEONE SAYS "IS THIS OKAY" YOU SAY?
Breathless
(Corinne Bailey Rae)

2. WHAT WOULD BEST DESCRIBE YOUR PERSONALITY?
Special Star
(Mango Groove)

3. WHAT DO YOU LIKE IN A GUY/GIRL?
Arlington Park
(Chris Cortez)

4. HOW DO YOU FEEL TODAY?
The Great Gig in the Sky
(Pink Floyd, and this one cracked me up)

5. WHAT IS YOUR LIFE'S PURPOSE?
Situations
(Jack Johnson)

6. WHAT IS YOUR MOTTO?
Old Town
(The Corrs)

7. WHAT DO YOUR FRIENDS THINK OF YOU?
Bright, Bright The Holly Berries
(Houston School for Performing and Visual Arts Madrigal Singers)

8. WHAT DO YOU THINK OF YOUR PARENTS?
Don't Dream It's Over
(Crowded House)

9. WHAT DO YOU THINK ABOUT VERY OFTEN?
Gimmie All Your Lovin'
(ZZ Top)

10. WHAT IS 2+2?
Mean Streak
(Little Big Town, who clearly know I hate math)

11. WHAT DO YOU THINK OF YOUR BEST FRIEND?
Tozeza
(Oliver 'Tuku' Mtukudzi)

12. WHAT DO YOU THINK OF THE PERSON YOU LIKE?
Sweet Dreams of You
(Patsy Cline)

13. WHAT IS YOUR LIFE STORY?
Rock And Roll is King
(Electric Light Orchestra)

14. WHAT DO YOU WANT TO BE WHEN YOU GROW UP?
Tennessee
(The Wreckers)

15. WHAT DO YOU THINK WHEN YOU SEE THE PERSON YOU LIKE?
Neria
(Oliver 'Tuku' Mtukudzi)

16. WHAT DO YOUR PARENTS THINK OF YOU?
You Needed Me
(Boyzone)

17. WHAT WILL YOU DANCE TO AT YOUR WEDDING?
American Girl
(Tom Petty & The Heartbreakers)

18. WHAT WILL THEY PLAY AT YOUR FUNERAL?
King & Queen
(John Legend)

19. WHAT IS YOUR HOBBY/INTEREST?
III. Menuetto, Serenade in G Major, "Eine Kleine Nach Musik
(Pavel Bubelnikov)

20. WHAT IS YOUR BIGGEST SECRET?
Hear Me Lord
(Oliver 'Tuku' Mtukudzi)

21. WHAT DO YOU THINK OF YOUR FRIENDS?
Dweller On The Threshold
(Van Morrison)

22. WHAT'S THE WORST THING THAT COULD HAPPEN?
I Won't Back Down
(Tom Petty & The Heartbreakers)

23. HOW WILL YOU DIE?
Turn To Stone
(Electric Light Orchestra)

24. DOES ANYONE LIKE YOU?
Close (To the Edit)
(Art of Noise)

25. IF YOU COULD GO BACK IN TIME, WHAT WOULD YOU CHANGE?
Oh Draw Me Lord
(Selah)

26. WHAT HURTS RIGHT NOW?
Graceland
(Paul Simon)

27. WHAT WILL YOU POST THIS AS?
Broadway
(Allison Krauss)

I'm not "posting" it here or "tagging" anyone, just letting my brain let go a little from the intensity of study today. Might put it back on Facebook, from whence it came, just to laugh with the friend who posted it first, but only after I finish up the rest of the semester's work in the next couple days.

Today's chapel service was peaceful. Lighting candles, sharing bread, hearing God calling me back once again. How much love, and how little I deserve it - but that's the whole point, isn't it?

A bit of fun

From my friend D over at http://impeachmentandotherdreams.blogspot.com/ a fun list to distract me from finals season!

The ones I have done will be in bold.

HAVE...
1. Started my own blog
2. Slept under the stars
3. Played in a band
4. Visited Hawaii
5. Watched a meteor shower
6. Given more than I can afford to charity
7. Been to Disneyland/world
8. Climbed a mountain - because my daughter dared me to
9. Held a praying mantis
10. Sung a solo
11. Bungee jumped
12. Visited Paris
3. Watched lightening at sea - from the beach in Galveston
14. Taught myself an art from scratch
15. Adopted a child
16. Had food poisoning
17. Walked to the top of the Statue of Liberty
18. Grown my own vegetables
19. Seen the Mona Lisa in France
20. Slept on an overnight train
21. Had a pillow fight
22. Hitchhiked
23. Taken a sick day when you’re not ill
24. Built a snow fort
25. Held a lamb
26. Gone skinny dipping
27. Run a Marathon
28. Ridden in a gondola in Venice
29. Seen a total eclipse (only partials)
30. Watched a sunrise or sunset
31. Hit a home run
32. Been on a cruise
33. Seen Niagara Falls in person
34. Visited the birthplace of my ancestors
35. Seen an Amish community
36. Taught myself a new language
37. Had enough money to be truly satisfied
38. Seen the Leaning Tower of Pisa in person
39. Gone rock climbing
40. Seen Michelangelo’s David
41. Sung karaoke
42. Seen Old Faithful geyser erupt
43. Bought a stranger a meal at a restaurant
44. Visited Africa
45. Walked on a beach by moonlight
46. Been transported in an ambulance
47. Had my portrait painted
48. Gone deep sea fishing
49. Seen the Sistine Chapel in person
50. Been to the top of the Eiffel Tower in Paris
51. Gone scuba diving or snorkeling - all the way out to the drop off!
52. Kissed in the rain
53. Played in the mud
54. Gone to a drive-in theater
55. Been in a movie - probably one of the all time worst movies EVER
56. Visited the Great Wall of China
57. Started a business
58. Taken a martial arts class
59. Visited Russia
60. Served at a soup kitchen
61. Sold Girl Scout Cookies
62. Gone whale watching
63. Got flowers for no reason
64. Donated blood, platelets or plasma
65. Gone sky diving
66. Visited a Nazi Concentration Camp (no, but I visited a Khmer Rouge torture prison)
67. Bounced a check
68. Flown in a helicopter
69. Saved a favorite childhood toy
70. Visited the Lincoln Memorial
71. Eaten Caviar
72. Pieced a quilt
73. Stood in Times Square
74. Toured the Everglades
75. Been fired from a job
76. Seen the Changing of the Guards in London
77. Broken a bone - my nose and a toe, you don't get a cast for those
78. Been on a speeding motorcycle
79. Seen the Grand Canyon in person
80. Published a book
81. Visited the Vatican
82. Bought a brand new car
83. Walked in Jerusalem
84. Had my picture in the newspaper
85. Read the entire Bible
86. Visited the White House
87. Killed and prepared an animal for eating
88. Had chickenpox
89. Saved someone’s life
90. Sat on a jury
91. Met someone famous
92. Joined a book club
93. Lost a loved one
94. Had a baby
95. Seen the Alamo in person
96. Swam in the Great Salt Lake
97. Been involved in a law suit - divorce is a law suit, right?
98. Owned a cell phone
99. Been stung by a bee
100. Ridden an elephant --my thighs hurt just remembering it.

So this reveals that I've never been to Europe. I wonder why the Sydney Opera House isn't on the list? I'd like to go to Australia too.

Back to the books now.

Writing

Yesterday was World AIDS Day, there was a big display at the university. HIV testing, statistics broken out by continent, donations, red ribbons, the whole nine yards. I'm so pleased that this new generation of college students shows compassion for others.

It's writing week, and I'm stuck down into my papers. With each page I give thanks for the opportunity to study and write. It's hard, and I do struggle, but it's worth it. Renews my faith in humanity and God a little each day.

Writing this time is a bit like making a quilt. Scraps of fabric, scattered and seeming not to match or coordinate in any way. Finding ways of stitching them together to make a useful and coherent whole.

Or at least, that's what I imagine quilting is like! (so says the non-sewer)

As usual though, real life intervenes into the academic life. Laundry, a sick child, and a million other details to remember. It is hard to focus. What motivates me to keep at it in part is one of today's daily lectionary readings.

Isaiah 1:10-20 is the whole reading, God calling to the people of Israel, refusing their multitude of prayers and offerings. What God desires is found in verse sixteen: Wash yourselves; make yourselves clean; remove the evil of your doings from before my eyes; cease to do evil, learn to do good; seek justice, rescue the oppressed, defend the orphan, plead for the widow.

Thanksgiving and World AIDS Day remind me to keep God's priorities as my priorities. Seek justice. Rescue the oppressed. Defend the orphan and widow. It is imperative that each of us do something, no matter how small, to work for justice and mercy in this world.

hating the internet

In the last couple of weeks there has been lots of bad news. A friend lost her grandmother, several other friends reported knowing someone in their family or group of friends who had died. My mother told me of at least three people she is friends with who have lost someone they love. Worst of all, one of my oldest and dearest friends lost her husband. Too much.

Celia had a school project that required an old photo of her, so we looked through our photo boxes to find one she wanted to use. I found a photo from my first days at college, smiling in a dorm hallway with a big group of friends. Whatever happened to so-and-so, I wondered? So I googled his name.

I may hate the internet now. I found his obituary, from June 2006. Two full years ago, and I never knew. There's no other information either. Just date and place. Quite possibly one of the finest people I ever knew, and someone whose friendship I always regretted losing track of over the years. I thought of him often, wondered if he'd ever married and had the children he deserved, if he was still helping people, being active in his church. Guess I'll never know now. All those "I should contact" and good intentions for keeping in touch - how I regret them now.

The internet is great, but somethings are better left unknown I suppose.

difficult days

Well, it's been difficult days lately. Two friends have suffered deaths in their families. One asked me to preside at the funeral, which I did, and I'm so glad. Really hard, but it was the right thing to do.

The bright spot for me was that James surprised us with a visit. Business in Connecticut for him, lots of smiles and hugs for us. We shared a family favorite meal (deep dish spinach pizza) and show (Survivor!). The simplest things are the ones that matter, and that's what we were able to share. Simply sitting around a table, hearing the girls pray, sharing conversation about the day, laughing over little things.

In the midst of all this, my school is in high gear - last crunch for reading, time to get the writing going, study for exams. Good thing the girls want a simple Thanksgiving, because I won't have time for a big production. They like to help with cooking now, so I'm ready to find out what kind of dishes they want to make for dinner. As long as there is a cranberry-apple pie and a BIG pan of stuffing, I'll be happy.

Today's scripture was Psalm 100 - enter God's gates with thanksgiving. That's not easy when people are hurting, grieving, or struggling. It's not easy when you are lonely or stressed out. But starting with thanks helps to put everything into perspective. There are times when I argue with God about things. There are times I cry to God, and no words will do. Today, talking with the children, it was clear again how to start with gratitude and trust. The Spirit is guiding me, and for that I am deeply grateful.

Daylight Spending Time

So I was thinking this morning, with the extra hour I had... if it's called "daylight savings time" does that mean that when we switch back it's "daylight spending time"?

It's just gone 5pm and there's a thumbnail sliver of a moon hanging up in the velvet sky. Beautiful, but it's early still. One of the hardest things for me to adjust to up here in New England is the very short days during the winter.

As much as like the change of the seasons, the shift to dark is hard for me to embrace. I'm sure the lessons to be learned from seasons and change are important, and I'm sure the lesson about patience and waiting are ones I am still learning, but that doesn't make it any easier.

Today we had acolyte training at church. Several grade school kids wanted to learn how to light the candles before worship. The symbolism of bringing in and taking out the light, combined with their young and hopeful spirits made my day. Perhaps their eager embrace of the light can be an example.

Bee Nine

Quite difficult to spell, but such a lovely word.

Benign: from the Latin benignus, to beget (how ironic!)
1. of a gentle disposition, gracious
2. showing kindness and gentleness
3. of a mild type or character that does not threaten life or health

Yay! :-) I'm bruised but benign. Quite a nice word to receive this All Hallow's Eve. I should have had a bee costume with the number nine on my back today!

In celebration, I watched last week's episode of Amazing Race. They were in Cambodia and mostly at Angkor Wat and Temple Bayon. Such lovely places, and I feel quite sacred. They showed the steep steps that I climbed to reach the higher levels, and the large Buddha statue at Bayon that I took a photo of just before we left. Such a shame they were just running through and not taking time to sit, breathe and enjoy the serenity. How I wish I could get back there!

For now, I will continue to be grateful to God, and to keep focus on my priorities. There's so much work to do. I think I'll avoid looking at the calendar for the rest of this evening, continue my celebration, and think about school again tomorrow.

Bee number nine signing off! :-)

The only good needle...

I don't like needles. Well, I suppose the only needles I like are the ones my friend Carol uses on her sewing projects. She's over at http://www.pins--needles.blogspot.com and you can see she's into more than just sewing. Lots of talent there, and I'm envious. All my old pics are in cardboard boxes that have been moved around many times. Nearly ten times moved, I think.

Today was needle day. Went into town to the big (massive)teaching hospital. They might be clinically good, but they just don't have the Southern hospitality like my hosptial back in Texas. I'll take clinical expertise either way, with or without the hospitality, however, as this whole process made me very nervous.

I tried to read for class the couple hours I was there, but an internal dialogue kept interrupting. Have my breasts betrayed me? They were one of my favorite parts of my body, yet just like my hair, they ain't what they used to be. Another voice chimed in, saying that I should love my body, just as she is. Another blog I read (http://acrazyquiltlife.blogspot.com/) recently had a bit on loving your body. Not always an easy thing to do, especially when you're lying on an exam table...waiting, waiting, waiting, and oh so cold.

So I tried to still my mind and pray. Then I tried not to listen to the doctor and radiologist discussing things while they looked at the screen. One of the "spots" was pronounced gone, but then a third look said, well, it's there but small, not worth doing anything over. Hm. The great unknown. Mysteries of the human body and all that.

I now have a band-aid where the needle went. Seems quite odd. And the numbing stuff is wearing off, so I'm a bit sore as well. Fortified with lunch at school, great discussions with new friends, a mug of tea and a big cinnamon roll for dessert (reward for surviving the nasty needle), I am bravely facing the rest of the day. We'll see if I manage to make it all the way through class tonight, and get another paper written.

Never a dull moment, eh? That's meant to be funny. Being this post is all about sharp needles. Get it? Laugh a little at my lame joke, it helps everything feel better!

More RevGalsBlogPals fun

We made it down to Hahhhvahhhd but not down to the river for the regatta. Oh well. It was good to spend time wandering through Harvard Square with Celia. Their Divinity School library has lost the book I needed to check out (bummer!) but the walk through Harvard Yard was Very Interesting People Watching. Two crazy guys playing (poorly) with a rugby ball, lots of parents and their college kids, and a wide variety of alumni on campus for reunions.

We ended up in Urban Outfitters and the Harvard band marched by on the street - so random, but what fun! We ran outside and gawked like tourists! lol

For a snack we went to the Au Bon Pain. It was really nice until a smoker came and stood right next to our sidewalk table. He took lots of pictures as he stood there, ignoring how much I was coughing and hacking. The butternut apple soup was really tasty though!

Tonight I read up over at RevGalsBlogPals. They listed a fun Friday Five all about coins. Thought I'd play along:

1) When was the last time you flipped a coin or even saw one flipped in person?
Can't remember the last time I saw one flipped, but James and I flipped a two rand coin when making a decision about our house in Spring. Heads, the house in Imperial Oaks, Tails the house in Breckenridge Forest...

2) Do you have any foreign coins in your house? If so, where are they from?
Obviously we have some from South Africa! James has the big bowl of coins - Turkey, Greece, Vietnam, Cambodia, Germany, Iceland, Mexico, Egypt, Canada...

3) A penny saved is a penny earned, they say. But let's get serious. Is there a special place in heaven for pennies, or do you think they'll find a special place in, well, the other place?
No and no.

4) How much did you get from the tooth fairy when you were a child? and if you have children of your own, do they get coins, or paper money? (I hear there may be some inflation.)
My parents didn't pay for teeth that I remember. Maybe just a quarter? My kids got golden dollar coins.

5) Did anyone in your household collect the state quarters? And did anyone in your household manage to sustain the interest required to stick with it?
James got the girls collector's maps, and they are almost filled up!

Fiery Fall Colors

It's peak foliage season up here in New England. Last weekend we went apple picking in New Hampshire. The traffic going north was crazy! I guess most of Boston had gone out to see the leaves. We decided to avoid the freeway traffic and take back roads home. Well who knew Vermont was SO far west? LOL We watched the sunset from the rolling mountains of eastern Vermont, and the moon rise over the river and hills of northern Massachusetts. Stunning.

The colors around our home now are at peak color. There is a line of cedars and black locust trees (I think they are black locust trees) behind our home, against the train line. The cedars stay green, but the other trees have gone a beautiful golden color, and the tiny leaves rain down with each stiff breeze.

Today is the Head of the Charles Regatta. Lucky me, I have to go down to the university to study, so I'll get to see all the people, the boats on the water, gorgeous blue sky and the trees, beautiful trees! ~happy sigh~

Time to get outside and enjoy the day... :-)

dishes

Hurricane Ike has affected so many of our friends in Texas. We've heard from many friends that they got just a bit of water, two feet of water, three feet of water, more than five feet of water. Everyone is living somewhere temporary, ripping out carpet, sheetrock, all their damaged things. A few people lost even more, one family's home was damaged in a tornado, another's home burned down.

Every time I have the pleasure of cooking a meal in my kitchen, sitting down at the table to eat with the girls, and then washing up my own plates and cups in the sink, I give thanks. It is a fragile thing, our ordinary lives. How quickly even the simple things can be washed away.

There is a church in the Texas Annual Conference that is doing something ordinary, yet extraordinary. Their choir and Sunday school classes are collecting Christmas ornaments and lights for Christmas trees. They realize that many people on Galveston Island and Bolivar Penninsula are so busy trying to take care of major housing issues they may not be thinking about Christmas.

My Christmas tree is years of memories. The lights - those belong to James and Mary Grace, the patient and technical people in the family. Some ornaments are from my childhood. So many have been gathered through the years and I'm planning to give them to the girls when they move out on their own. Years of memories, so quickly can be washed away.

I do have a regular time set aside for prayer each day, but now I pray every time I do the dishes too. It's an easy way to remember those who are struggling.

forgiveness

One of the daily lectionary readings today is about a "sinful woman". She isn't even named, but she is the central figure in the story (Luke 7:36-50). Jesus is at the home of a Pharisee, one of the important leading men of the synagogue, having dinner. A woman comes in, kneels behind Jesus, washes his feet with her tears, wipes them dry with her hair, and then pours expensive ointment on them from an alabaster jar.

Clearly, it was an expensive jar of oil. How much had it cost her? How long had she saved it?

Clearly, she was deeply moved. Have you ever cried so much that you could wash someone's feet with your tears? Felt so empty after crying that you MUST be dry inside, but then the tears just keep coming, from some deep well of pain and sorrow?

The man who had invited Jesus for dinner declared that Jesus couldn't possibly be a prophet, otherwise he would have known how sinful - how rude - how intrusive - how inappropriate - this woman was.

But Jesus was gentle, merciful, and spoke out loud, not in her defense, but words of forgiveness. Rather than the judgment she herself knew she deserved, Jesus spoke to her deep sorrow and forgave.

A couple years ago I was at a clergywomen's conference in which a pastor spoke about the cost of the oil in her alabaster jar. Another woman sang about the cost of the oil in her alabaster jar. How much had it cost that woman - her pride, her dignity, her last shred of "I've got to hold it all together"? And when she poured it all out at the feet of Christ, she found forgiveness.

I don't know how much the oil in your alabaster jar cost you. No one really knows the cost of another's alabaster jar. Christ does though, and into that deep well of sorrow and shame, he speaks grace, mercy, forgiveness.

A dear friend signs the end of every email with this saying:

Be kinder than necessary because everyone you meet is fighting some kind of battle.

So true - and everyone you meet is carrying their alabaster jar, waiting to pour it out at the feet of Christ. Speak graciously. Offer mercy. And give thanks to God.

Now I Know

Well now I know why I've been putting off making myself a doctor appointment - their offices are just awful!

Perhaps I was just spoiled by having such a caring and wonderful staff (admin and nurses) with my ob/gyn when I was pregnant with the girls. Perhaps I was just spoiled by the quiet and gentle care of the entire Methodist Breast Care Center staff. Perhaps I was just spoiled by being able to call directly into my current gyn's nurse - and in spite of having hundreds of patients, she takes time to talk with me and remembers me, even if she only sees me once or twice a year. Heck, even the ultrasound tech remembered me and she'd only seen me twice in her life - and it had been a year since, but she remembered me, asked about my work, my family.

Trying to find a new doctor just stinks. Who do you trust for a referral when you don't know many people in a new city? Yellow Pages? Internet? Not very personal.

Then when you do get a referral - oh, they're top notch, great research facility, all the best, etc so forth - it's a monolithic nightmare. Snippy grouchy people transferring your calls, yelling at you if you don't understand their muffled questions, telling you another number to call, responding to you as if you are an idiot, assuming you know the whole process...

Gah. So there I sat, in tears, trying not to sound crazy as I gave the woman my phone number. My doctor said to transfer the records electronically, why is that such a problem? Why can't I just make an appointment, why must I register with the system first and then wait wait wait for who knows what and who knows who to call me back for an appointment with who knows what doctor? Why don't I get a say in who I see? So much for "patient rights".

You know, it may just be worth that plane ticket back to Houston instead of all this hassle.

Upside is, the orthopedist managed to fit Mary Grace in this afternoon, so we'll know by today what's really up with her arm and whether or not she will be able to play her flute, play the piano, get dressed by herself, etc.

Mondays. What a mixed bag.

in over my head

I do believe that I have gotten in over my head in my studies. I'm reading as fast as I can, but it seems that every time I catch up another student comes up with some penetrating question that I have NO clue what they are talking about. I'm not sure if it's just approaches to the subject that differ or if perhaps they already have a better grasp on things than I do - or maybe it's just that I've got kids and all that comes with that to distract me from studying more. ~sigh~

Back to the books.

Right after I go put in another load of laundry that is.

Waiting...waiting...

Okay, so I made a post about dates, and the next day James told me I'd missed a friend's birthday. And then I didn't get another friend's card in the mail and settled for an e-card. Still don't know if that gift from online got there. Add those to the lack of posting and I'm just making everyone wait! Not to mention that Carol has my mouth watering waiting for the date muffin recipe now. :-)

I spent most of today waiting in the ER. Mary Grace fell at ice skating practice and hurt her wrist. I think her hip landed on it. It's bad enough for xrays and a temporary cast, but not bad enough for them to say it's broken for sure. We'll go see an orthopedist next week to find out.

Of course, this just caps the week we've had. Last Saturday in the pouring rain, I had a fender bender, so now my car is in the shop getting un-bended. Mary Grace was sick two days and missed school. We postponed our apple picking and fall leaf looking trip, which is good because I have two major presentations next week. As in ... read this 300 page book, write a two or three page summary, a two or three page critical analysis, and be ready to answer questions from classmates on it. Argh!

Monday will be call the doctor day. We need to know if her wrist is really broken or not. And I need to know what's up with the nodule and cyst in my right breast. As if there wasn't enough on my plate already!

Celia is studying up for her driving permit, also practicing madly for the orchestra chair seating audition next week. Both girls are helping with housework while I study, which is very nice.

What an update, huh? :-)

kick start

I'm having a hard time getting back into the habit of blogging. RevGalBlogPals is a blog I read frequently, a group of clergy women supporting and challenging each other through their blogs. Every Friday they post questions to answer on your own blog. It's Monday, but I thought I'd give it a shot. Might kick start my blogging again, who knows?

Here goes - it's a "calendar related Friday Five"

1) Datebooks--how do you keep track of your appointments? Electronically? On paper? Month at a glance? Week at a glance?
This is a mess for me. I keep a United Methodist planning calendar nearby - it has all the lectionary readings for Sundays, all church dates, major holidays, etc. I like to look at a month at a time. My brother Neal gave me a Franklin Covey planner a few years ago, and I use that one too (mostly). James gave me a Palm Pilot, which I tried to use, but never got the hang of seeing a day at a time on the little screen. When I had an office, I tried putting appointments into my Outlook, so my computer beeped at me along with my Palm Pilot. I'm confused!

2) When was the last time you forgot an important date?
I tend to forget to pay the rent when I'm near the end of a term. My landlords are very kind about it. During that time, I'm completely focused on reading and writing rather than anything else.

3) When was the last time you went OUT on a date?
August 8th - James and I went out for Japanese food to celebrate dear friends' 15th anniversary.

4) Name one accessory or item of clothing you love even though it is dated.
I'm sure my teenagers could tell you several items, but I can't think of one.

5) Dates--the fruit--can't live with 'em? Or can't live without 'em?
My grandmother made a delicious date bread. Love it. But just dates? Not so much.

another good quote

As I go through all my stacks of papers, I'm finding quotes I've scribbled on envelopes and scraps of paper. Here's another good one.

Bishop Ivan Holt: "It is not the function of religion to answer every question. It is the function of religion to help men and women carry on."

One of the presenters at Ministers Week, Perkins School of Theology, included this in his presentation this past January. I recall that much, but not who said it, and it's not included in my notes.

Off the Blogger Bandwagon

Well, I've fallen completely off the Blogger Bandwagon. Have been having a relaxing summer, taking care of the million little details of life I'd let slide in the craziness of end of term papers and then the rush of summer vacation. By end of week, I should be organized and ready to begin preparations for the fall term.

There will be pictures to post, as soon as I can figure out how to put a slideshow feature on this blog. My brother Glen has been up to Boston for a visit, and there are heaps of travel photos to put together.

In the meantime, two quotes have caught my eye and have me pondering. A Chinese proverb in honor of the Olympics: A gem cannot be polished without friction, nor man without trials. And from Simone Weil: Life does not need to mutilate itself in order to be pure.

Strike a balance between the two - some trials for personal improvement, but no need to go overboard. I like that philosophy.

long time, no blog

The summer doldrums set in on my drive back from Texas. My apologies to the reader. Will get back to regular blogging soon.

Quote for the day from Patrick Henry, one of my favorite outspoken people: "For my part, whatever anguish of the spirit it may cost, I am willing to know the whole truth - to know the worst and provide for it."

And one for inspiriation to keep going on the journey, from James J. Walker: "The blues of mental and physical wear and tear are not as devastating as the yellows of the quitter."

Argh.

Either the garden bench hadn't aged well in the hot Texas summers, or I don't know my own strength. I could just cry.

One of my summer Texas projects was to sand, paint the metal and protect the wood on my garden bench. My meditation garden is my retreat, my gift from James and the girls. It's one of my favorite places to sit in all the world. And now I've gone and ruined it.

This morning, as the girls are off for a visit with their dad and half sisters, I was tackling the garden bench project. Sanded everything, used a metal scrapy-brush thing on the metal bits, brushed it all off with a clean paint brush and was in the middle of putting painter's tape on the wood so I could spray Rust-Oleum on the metal parts.

As I tipped the bench backward (to easier reach the underside of the slats, I thought) one of the back legs broke off.

I'm devastated. My beautiful bench! How will I sit and enjoy the fountain now? All the lovely birds at the feeders! It's not like we have the money to just pop out and buy another one. The girls are flying back to Boston in a month, I've got to drive back to meet them - and all that costs a bundle, not to mention all the other expenses this summer. Sheesh. I should have waited until James was home on the weekend and asked for help.

I even took a "before" picture becaus I was so excited about this project!

Argh. Bah. Feh. Humbug. Pbbbbbbth.

computer go "hiccup"

Well, my beloved laptop has a hiccup. Or maybe a burp. But it's definitely not fried just yet. Good techie friend is fixing laptop and we'll have her back in business in a few days. In the meantime, James' home computer will do.

We had big cracking thunderstorms today - brief but heavy, with lots of lightning that you could see from miles away. Just lovely!

Mary Grace is playing her piano. The electric keyboard we have in Boston isn't quite the same as a real piano. There are a few drawbacks to living in two places - not having the piano for practice is a drawback, but when she loves playing as much as Mary Grace, it makes us all sad.

Today she and I talked about having a place that is always home to you. For Celia, this house in Texas and this area will always be home. For Mary Grace and I, we can be at home in many places. She prefers Texas, but can be home anywhere. I must be a wanderer at heart - I can imagine myself at home in several places across the world. If only I had the money to do just that and fly around between them!

Where are you at home? Just one place or many? Is your heart tied to one piece of land? Or are you a wanderer?

Bucksnort, for Douglas

Well, turns out my computer has a virus of some sort, so I can't get the pictures on here yet. Maybe next week after I visit my computer savvy friend in Galveston. It's that or give the Geek Squad $200 and my computer for two weeks, and I can't live without my computer for two weeks!

Back to the trip, for Douglas. Tuesday we drove through "New England", which is called that because of all the immigrants from England during the late 1600s and 1700s. We saw things like the Thames River in Connecticut, and towns called New this or that. New London, New Haven, etc. I suppose that's where we get new Jersey and new York and new Hampshire too!

In Virginia we saw license plates that proclaimed the 400th birthday of the state. The first settlers came over in 1607. I'm sure that I learned about it in school, but can't remember much now. Jamestown colony perhaps? Maybe you can find out and let me know.

Tennessee is a long rectangle of a state. It took us all day to drive through it. We started in Knoxville, which is very close to the Great Smoky Mountain National Park. Very pretty area. We camped there once when the girls were really young (Mary Grace wasn't even a year old yet!) but they don't remember it. Then on to Nashville, home to country music. Do you have a country music station in Johannesburg? If not, I'll have to make a cd of some of our favorites and send it along to you.

We passed the birthplace of Davy Crockett, who was a frontiersman. There was a tv show in the 1950s about him, and many boys wore coonskin caps to be like Davy. I think Uncle James and I sent you one once, from the Alamo.

By this time there was a lot of country music on our radio. In Boston, we only have one country music station. But in Nashville there were several to choose from! All along the way it had been green rolling hills, the mountains slowly giving way to hills.

East of Nashville we got in front of a big "oversized" load truck. It was tiered, and looked like a giant chocolate cake with white icing piped along all the edges. I have no idea what it was, but it was coming fast. "Oversized" loads have guide vehicles with lights and flags, at least one in front and one behind. The front one was nearing 80 miles per hour (not sure of the kms) and it kept coming up to us. I could see the truck with the big thing on it and it was scary - I didn't want it to pass us! Eventually I found a Dairy Queen and we pulled off the road for a while. Dairy Queen is a restauant sort of like Wimpy's - they have hamburgers, chicken fingers, and soft serve ice creams. We had ice creams and looked at the map for a bit, then got back out onto the road.

One funny town we passed was named "Bucksnort". I thought it might be a joke, but nope! That's the name! Bucksnort, Tennessee. Birdsong was a much prettier named town further west.

Memphis was the next big city. James had suggested we stop at Land Between the Lakes recreation area, but it was too far north for us. Uncle James had a fishing trip there once and says that it is very green, peaceful and pretty. I didn't get the fishing report though.

So we went on to Memphis. It is named for a city in ancient Egypt. It has a big glass pyramid on the banks of the Mississippi River. Elvis Presley lived in Memphis when he was very famous, and his home is still there for visitors to go see. It's called Graceland. The wait in summer is hours long to get in, so we didn't stop for that either. The girls didn't care much about Elvis anyway. We joked about having fried peanut butter and banana sandwiches for dinner, one of Elvis' favorites.

Memphis has a place called Mud Island, where you can see a scaled replica of the Mississippi River, from its source in Minnesota, all the tributaries and other rivers that feed into it, and all the way down to the Gulf of Mexico at New Orleans. Right now the Mississippi River is flooding quite badly. There was too much rain last month in Iowa, Illinois and Missouri. Whole towns have been flooded. Cedar Rapids, Iowa is one of the worst hit. There are levees but many of them are old and the water has burst through. Farmers are worried because the corn crops have been flooded, which means the U.S. won't have as much corn this year.

Music in Memphis is very different to Nashville. Memphis is home to the blues - your Uncle James' favorite kind of music. He's got SO many blues cds! I can't even begin to tell you how he loves the blues. :-)

On Friday we drove through Arkansas. It was such a difference at the river - the mountains we'd seen in eastern Tennessee were pretty, but now it was flat "river bottom" land, which is rich dark soil. We saw many fields of rice, and hoped that the flooding wouldn't affect these farmers.

Little Rock is the capital of Arkansas, and it is hilly like in Tennessee. We passed Hope, the town where President Clinton was born, and then drove through the southern part of the Ozark Mountains, which are also rolling green mountains.

Texarkana is a town that sits in two states, Texas and Arkansas. They have a street called "State Line Road". The street light poles have flags showing which state they are - in the middle of the street, you're driving on the state line! It was funny.

We played a car game we call "The ABC game". You have to find the letters of the alphabet in order, on signs only, not on other moving cars. I'm pretty good at it, but now the girls are older they try very hard to beat me. Mary Grace won one round, the first time I've been beaten in years. But when we were driving through deep east Texas, in the Piney Woods, there aren't many signs to use for playing! Q is a very tough letter, but if you can find a La Quinta hotel or a Dairy Queen, you've got it made. (that's La keenta, and it means something like a villa or country house)

When we got home, we had a nice evening with Uncle James. We went to see Uncle Glen play jazz at a seafood restaurant. Grandma Trudy and Uncle Ronald met Glen when your Uncle James and I got married. Uncle Ronald and Glen are very alike, I think.

We also went to the girls grandparents place - their Grandma Grace and Pawpaw, which is a Texan way of saying "grandpa". We had breakfast tacos - that's scrambled eggs, hash browns, bacon or sausage and a bit of cheese wrapped up in a tortilla. You can add salsa (chopped tomatoes, onion, cilantro) if you want it to be spicy. Tastes like home to us! Do you get tortillas in South Africa? It's a Mexican way of making bread, and one of my favorites.

That's a very long post, all for Douglas, all about our trip across the U.S. Let me know if you have any questions or if you would like us to send you any maps or things. I'll get the computer fixed and pictures up when I can.

Oh yeah, this is for Carol: http://www.johnnyclegg.com/ He's wonderful!

Delay

There is more to tell about our cross country journey for Douglas to read and follow along on the map - but there's a slight delay. We had to speed up by a day because the girls' grandpa got called back to his job overseas early. I'm exhausted, but we arrived safely and had breakfast with my parents this morning, before they had to leave for the airport.

My computer's got a bit of a problem too - it only recognizes my little MP3 player that James gave me on our anniversary, and not my camera memory stick, not my documents flash drives, or my iPod. It's frustrating! I can't charge up the iPod or download all our trip pictures! We'll head to the computer store on Monday to see if they can fix it, so we can add a slide show of our journey for Douglas to see.

Plans are to see a movie together tonight and go to church together as a family in the morning, something we haven't done since Christmas time. Yay! :-)

For Douglas

This post is for my South African nephew, Douglas. I'm desperately jealous of him at the moment, as he and his family are going to a Johnny Clegg concert this weekend. How I wish I was there with you! I'll have a listen to Johnny on my iPod and think of you fondly instead, how's that?

Now for a bit of U.S. geography for you, Douglas. Celia, Mary Grace and I are travelling across the U.S. back to Texas. Uncle James is still there and we miss him lots. It's our summer time, the days have been long and sunny and a bit warm. Have a look at a map, and I'll tell you about our journey.

We started in Massachusetts, where the Pilgrims from England settled back in the 1600s, around the same time as the settlers were coming to South Africa from Holland. The first Thanksgiving was held in Massachusetts. We drove south through Rhode Island, our smallest state. Then we followed the Atlantic coastline through Connecticut and went through New York City. We've never been there, it was amazing. We didn't dare stop, as we might have gotten lost, just went right through. The big buildings of Manhattan we didn't get to see until we were across the river into New Jersey. We drove right past an airport as planes were landing and taking off, which surprised Celia quite a bit.

New Jersey was boring - one long turnpike without much to see. It was getting dark by then, so we played with the radio a lot. After paying the toll, we were over a bridge and into Delaware, which was the first state to form when the colonists won the war against King George III in 1776. We stayed just over the state line in Maryland last night. How many states in one day's drive? Crazy, huh?

So many states in just a few hours drive, really made me laugh. Texas is so big that it takes all day to get out of just that one state. I'm not used to driving through so many states all in one day. But there is lots of history and interesting things. New Jersey is called "the garden state", perhaps because it is so green and lush. Maryland has the Chesapeake Bay, and they are famous for their crabs and other seafood.

Today we drove through three states - Maryland, West Virginia and Virginia. It was a very long day, but very pretty. We were driving through the middle of the Appalachian Mountains, rolling green scenery. Much different to the fierce majesty of the Rocky Mountains in Colorado, which we've visited years ago. We saw lots of cattle and horses, a few sheep, and I caught sight of one big rabbit in the fresh mown grass in between the highways.

Tomorrow we'll be driving through Tennessee - home to Nashville and all things country music, as well as Memphis which is home to the blues (which your Uncle James is crazy about) and yummy bbq ribs (it's not chops on the braai, but it makes Americans very happy). People talk different here in the south of the U.S. - we've heard people saying "y'all" again and there are honeysuckle vines, Sonic Drive-Ins and Krispy Kreme Donuts... well at least those are the things your cousins are excited about!

I'll try to add a slide show of our pictures once we get to Houston so you can see some of our journey. Much love to everyone in South Africa and enjoy the concert!

Annual Conference, chapter four

Yes, I know... I'm a geek when it comes to church stuff. So I'll start with the everyday news. We finally have a break in the heat. It's been hot and humid the past four days. Yesterday several schools had early release because of the heat - they don't have central cooling in the schools up here as they do in Texas. Last night a storm blew through. Our town only got the wind, not the rain. I was out at 1am protecting my plants and taking down the wind chime.

Last night I ordered a pizza for the girls - a Final Exams week treat. We haven't ordered out pizza since... well... about a year I think. A slice from Papa Gino's back in September, but other than that we made our own.

It made my mouth water. It tasted great. But I forgot my own musings about "listening to your body". This morning my body is clearly saying "you don't NEED the pizza. There is no nutrition in the pizza. Don't eat the pizza." ~sigh~

Now, on to Annual Conference thoughts.

Monday night worship – choir from Cote d’Ivoire and Bishop Peter Storey from Methodist Church of Southern Africa – marvelous challenge to the church in the United States. Wish I could remember everything he said now. I should have been taking notes! But I was enjoying worshipping with my husband for the first time since Christmas eve. A small happiness perhaps, but sitting next to my husband and holding his hand during prayers is one of life’s greatest joys.

Tuesday morning – Bible study with Dr. John Holbert. Lovely, deep, rich voice. Told the story of Jonah as “risk taking mission” in such a way that it was convicting and convincing. I will never read the book of Jonah again the same way. Jonah means “dove” but his attitude and behavior were anything but peaceful. He was selfish and stingy with the word of the Lord. Not exactly a model for risk taking mission! So – the question that comes to me is – in what way has the word of the Lord come to me and I haven’t acted on it? Where is my Tarshish? Who are the pagan sailors in my life, those who are convicted of the truth of God, who offer sacrifices while I sit in the belly of the whale and complain? Who are those who hear a tiny (seven words!) sermon and repent, while I go off and complain? Next time I start complaining to God with all my selfish and petty concerns, may the voice of John Holbert rise up in my ears and stop me.

Tuesday evening – Perkins Alumni and Friends dinner – work on the new building, new faculty, and endowments for student scholarships. Great leadership from Dean Lawrence, newly elected to the Judicial Council. If his leadership at Perkins is any indication, we can expect dedicated, energetic and well informed service from him on Judicial Council.

Poetry and Writers

One of my favorite things is Garrison Keillor's Writer's Almanac. http://writersalmanac.publicradio.org/

Today is the birthday of Maurice Sendak who wrote Where the Wild Things Are, one of my most favorite books ever. That book is what got me reading to Celia's kindergarten class, and reading to other children as she grew up and didn't need me reading her to sleep any more. One of my favorite sermons is reading Where the Wild Things Are to the congregation, all of them thinking they are adults, but really just children of God, who need to be told the story again... and again.

Woohoo!

Just a little celebration ~go me...go me...~ that I finally managed to get a hyperlink in a post done right. Thank you RevGalBlogPals for teaching me how!

And this quote just captures so much:

"The gentle reader will never, never know what a consummate ass he can become, until he goes abroad." Mark Twain

Annual Conference, verse three

Still mulling over Annual Conference....

Monday (Memorial Day here in the states) was the first full day of Annual Conference. We opened with the Clergy Session at The Woodlands UMC. Unfortunately, the sign language interpreter did not get the list of traditional questions asked at the clergy session – all of which are answered with lists of names. She needed the spelling of those names, as the person speaking usually knows the clergy and zips through the list quickly. Fingerspelling is a slow process, no matter how fast your fingers work! I went to the back and found her the lists. One of our clergy delegates has a hearing loss that most would not notice. She does just fine in small groups or one on one conversation, but in large settings like Annual Conference, the interpreter is essential for her to catch the whole presentation or speech. One of our lay delegates is Deaf and depends on American Sign Language as her primary language. We have two main interpreters, and on the first day of Conference one goes to the clergy session and one to the laity session. Hard work for our interpreters. They interpret the music so beautifully. I am grateful for their ministry.

The Clergy session is where voting for commissioned members and ordination in full connection happens. It is the culmination of years of work and preparation for ordination. Commissioned elders and deacons will serve under supervision and with the support of covenant groups until ordination in full connection. We used to be called "probationary" and had to work for three years before being considered for ordination. This year at General Conference, they have changed the name to "provisional" elder and deacon. They also shortened the process by a year, which I think is fine. With a clergy mentor and a covenant group, it's a good process. This year dear friends, some of whom worked with great diligence and difficulty through the process were being voted into their order. The papers and oral examination by the Board of Ordained Ministry can be rigorous and exhausting. The look on their faces, shining and humbled, said it all.

Bishop Huie’s Episcopal Address during opening worship - wonderful as always - set the business session in a different tenor than in years past. After last General Conference, I recall that the mood was tense, every one waiting to see how our Conference would play out the divisive issues – would we argue and split or would we hold to the center? This time we are worshipping together – not set one side against the other with the majority in the middle praying we won’t lose sight of what is really important with all our arguing. No, this time we are pointed clearly in the direction of worship and getting to the practices of effective ministry. Gen-X Missional Wesleyan wrote about the difference between leaders and managers and I agree with him.

This morning (June 8) at worship, the children led the entire service. It was great! I had no idea that the senior high class would be preaching. My daughter, up there in the pulpit and me, out there in the congregation! I was surprised, pleased and so proud. She's amazing.

Bookshelf

One thing that is really hard about having homes in two places (aside from being apart from my husband) is that my books are in two places.

I collect books like other women collect pretty plates or jewelry. I love reading and re-reading my books.

Tonight I went through the ones here in Boston and put them on my "Shelfari". When I get to Houston, I'll add the rest. I own the complete works of Agatha Christie, all of Laura Ingalls Wilder, a bunch of Nancy Drew books, as well as lots of theology. Some of my favorites are what we've kept from when the girls were young enough to be read to each evening. I miss that.

The local high school graduation ceremony is tonight. Celia and I saw the football field preparations when I picked her up from violin lesson. Two years from now, we'll be sitting there watching her graduate. For tonight though, she's off to a friend's house for pizza and Rock Band. Lucky me, she's getting a ride home. I just don't have the energy to be out driving tonight.

The Boston basketball team is in the playoffs or something. My upstairs neighbor watches all the Boston sports teams. Last night's game must have run late and been very exciting, if the expletives and applause are any measure. Just as I dropped off to sleep, something worth cussing or cheering would happen...rinse and repeat, rinse and repeat.

I'm going to cuddle up with one of my books now, and hope that the basketball game is NOT on tonight. Sleep is beckoning, and dreams of Jamie and Claire await......

Random

Your regularly scheduled Annual Conference blog posts will be back shortly.

Random stuff in my head today:

It's June. The temps here haven't made it out of the 50's in four days. Woohoo! I've never lived in a place that has highs in the 50s in June. It's cool!

There are way more sparrows than other birds. At least at the feeders in Boston and Houston.

I worry about freckles and moles. Should go see a dermatologist once a year. Can't wait for the insurance to get sorted out. It's past time for another mammogram too. I don't want to worry if something weird is growing in there, especially after last year. Wish the doctor would call with the pap results.

Weight. ARGH!!! I don't have a scale in my house and now I know why. It's exactly the same number that it has been for the past two and a half years. It's beyond frustrating!

Have I not completely changed my diet and lifestyle? Twice or more a week Whataburger lunch? No more. Once a week Tex Mex lunch? No more. Greasy pizza buffet? No more. Twice a week or more Starbucks? Down to once a month or less. Use more vinaigrette than ranch dressing. Cut out carbonated drinks altogether.

I take the stairs whenever possible. Drink plenty of water. Started a regular exercise program. Eat more salads. And yet .... there is it.... that number.... mocking me! ~sigh~

James and the girls said (independent of each other) "muscle weighs more than fat". Ok, fine. So explain how that number can be EXACTLY the same? Sheesh.

I can just hear James cueing up his best Scar (from Lion King) imitation... "Life's not fair!" and he's SO right.

Annual Conference, next verse please

Sunday morning in Houston I went to worship at a church where a few years ago, I was youth director. I had no idea how many years ago! One of my then junior high students is now graduating and will be attending my undergrad alma mater as an elementary education major. Another one of my then junior high students will be President of the rather large high school band next year - her senior year! They have grown into wonderful young women. (Meanwhile, I haven't aged a bit....)

Sunday evening worship at Annual Conference was the Memorial Service for the clergy and clergy spouses who died since last Annual Conference. I'm glad they moved this to the first service. Our preacher was Matt Idom, currently pastor at First UMC Bryan. He was funny, touching, made me think and did a good job of weaving together the scripture and honoring the memory of those who have gone before.

We always begin Annual Conference with “And Are We Yet Alive?” a traditional bit of Methodism. Hearing the whole gathering – clergy, laity and friends – singing so enthusiastically is uplifting. It stirs the soul to hear voices truly raised in praise and joy. Not the sound of those who are wondering what the tune is, or what do these old words mean, or what page is that hymn on again?

All too often we worship without connecting to the congregation – do they know the hymns? Have we taken the time to learn them together? Have we explained the terminology? Seriously, does anyone know what it means “here I raise mine Ebenezer”? I love that hymn and what it means, but my guess is that the vast majority of the congregation is thinking about Scrooge and not the scripture reference! How can you sing as Wesley directed if you don’t know what the words mean?

Wesley’s Rules for Singing are at the front of every United Methodist Hymnal – sing lustily and with good courage! If you don’t know what you’re saying, you can’t follow that rule. I guess I’m calling for United Methodists to teach each other all the marvelous theology and diverse styles of music which is in our hymnal. Oh that everyone could experience worship like we have at Annual Conference!

About that Ebenezer - have a look at 1 Samuel 7.

7 When the Philistines heard that the people of Israel had gathered at Mizpah, the lords of the Philistines went up against Israel. And when the people of Israel heard of it they were afraid of the Philistines. 8The people of Israel said to Samuel, ‘Do not cease to cry out to the Lord our God for us, and pray that he may save us from the hand of the Philistines.’ 9So Samuel took a sucking lamb and offered it as a whole burnt-offering to the Lord; Samuel cried out to the Lord for Israel, and the Lord answered him. 10As Samuel was offering up the burnt-offering, the Philistines drew near to attack Israel; but the Lord thundered with a mighty voice that day against the Philistines and threw them into confusion; and they were routed before Israel. 11And the men of Israel went out of Mizpah and pursued the Philistines, and struck them down as far as beyond Beth-car.
12 Then Samuel took a stone and set it up between Mizpah and Jeshanah,* and named it Ebenezer;* for he said, ‘Thus far the Lord has helped us.’ 13So the Philistines were subdued and did not again enter the territory of Israel; the hand of the Lord was against the Philistines all the days of Samuel. 14The towns that the Philistines had taken from Israel were restored to Israel, from Ekron to Gath; and Israel recovered their territory from the hand of the Philistines. There was peace also between Israel and the Amorites.
15 Samuel judged Israel all the days of his life. 16He went on a circuit year by year to Bethel, Gilgal, and Mizpah; and he judged Israel in all these places. 17Then he would come back to Ramah, for his home was there; he administered justice there to Israel, and built there an altar to the Lord.

The Israelites looked to their leader to intercede for them. When the conflict was over, that same leader raised a monument - an Ebenezer - because the Lord helped them. According to the Tanakh, the term Ebenezer means "stone of help". A memorial, a stone to remember God's help.

So then, to Robert Robinson's hymn (number 400 in the UM Hymnal, at least until 2008) titled Come, Thou Fount of Every Blessing - perhaps it will inspire you now that you know more about old Ebenezer!

Come, thou Fount of every blessing, tune my heart to sing thy grace;
Streams of mercy, never ceasing, call for songs of loudest praise.
Teach me some melodious sonnet, sung by flaming tongues above.
Praise the mount! I'm fixed upon it, mount of thy redeeming grace.

Here I raise mine Ebenezer, hither by thy help I'm come;
and I hope, by thy good pleasure, safely to arrive at home.
Jesus sought me when a stranger, wandering from the fold of God;
he, to rescue me from danger, interposed his precious blood.

O to grace how great a debtor daily I'm constrained to be!
Let thy goodness, like a fetter, bind my wandering heart to thee.
Prone to wander, Lord, I feel it, prone to leave the God I love;
here's my heart, O take and seal it, seal it for thy courts above.

Thank you Mr. Robinson. The old language rarely connects with my soul, but this hymn sings my heart out to God. Prone to wander? Oh my yes. But by the good pleasure of God, I will make it home yet.

What's your Ebenezer?

Annual Conference and Other Stuff

Last week I was in Houston for Annual Conference - for you non-United Methodists out there, that's the term for our geographic area (east Texas) and for our once a year meeting with all the clergy from our area and lay representatives from every church in our area. I was glad to go, since I love Annual Conference week, and because I got to stay with James!

Arrived on Saturday 24th, a day full of small happinesses. Shopping together, James treating me to new cell phone, so cute and pink! A tour of his new offices and warehouse – suits him so much, very neat and tidy. Picking out a few groceries together, grilling steaks and corn for dinner. He made me a cup of herbal tea with local honey when my cough started up again. Small happinesses. Years ago he told me that it was the small things all added up that make a difference in life. Certainly spending time doing the everyday things of life with my husband is a well of small happinesses. Oh yeah, don’t forget the Blue Bell Dutch Chocolate ice cream! My, oh my, how I’ve missed Blue Bell ice cream.

Yesterday was our eighth wedding anniversary. The local grocery store has started carrying Appletizer, so the girls and I toasted with a glass of bubbly apple juice, a real taste of South Africa. Yummy. Just like our wedding was more than the day, the celebration this year has been spread out over several days too. Wonderful! We are very blessed.

More posts about Annual Conference and running in Houston to come.

Too Busy To Blog

It's been a whirlwind week. Seeing my husband again, Annual Conference, doctor visits, catching up with family and friends, and a little work thrown in as well. Whew. There is much to write about, which I hope to do whilst on the plane back to Boston. Got in a couple more runs while in Houston, so there's that too.

Meanwhile, my iPod is charging (and full of James' music library now!) and I've got to get my bags organized for the flight. Reading to do and much writing. I'm glad for a four hour block of work. Can't wait to see my girls again. Our plans are for a fancy dinner out to say "thank you" to Grandma (who has been caring for them in my absence) and to celebrate our anniversary. It's always been a family celebration until this year, with the family two thousand miles apart.

I'm enjoying the people watching at the airport. The young couple in matching blue "Honeymooners" t-shirts, the family with baby in a snugli carrier, the teens with their crammed backpacks, the business travellers off to work, the girl with the big stuffed ladybug, the guy comparing his iPod and DVD player to my computer, iPod, cell phone that plays music and my new tiny MP3 player - such a wide variety of people and styles of travelling!

Heat!

Tried to post this on Sunday but lost the internet connection:

This morning I went out for a run. Got all dressed in my new running clothes and was excited to head out onto the flat streets of suburban Houston. I was NOT prepared for the wall of humidity and heat that hit me as I opened the front door. Mind you, it was only 6:30am! Wow.

The run went fairly well, trying to focus on keeping loose. Until I made the fateful decision to head into the neighborhood's "nature walk". As I turned in, I said to myself, "how bad can it be?" Argh. Wrong question.

I ran through a few spider web strands (not full webs, thankfully) and past a startled lizard. I gave a prayer of thanks for the lush green lawns I'd see earlier, the fat foxtail ferns, the lilies of the Nile, day lilies, placid calico cat watching me. And then I noticed something biting me on my calf. Gave it a whack and I think it called out the brigades.

Horse flies, perhaps? I don't know. Big black flies and lots of them. They were chasing me. The podcast said it was time for the walk segment, but after a moment of walking, I realized the black flies were supported by a contingent of other flying insects, all trying to land on me.

My walk segment turned into a dash, a zip, a sprint, nay... a panicked escape. Swatting, gasping, totally going on fear. My first thought - please God get me out of here - was replaced by single gasps of breath... "Please" .... "God".....

All sense of calm, breathing, relaxing - totally gone. Those darn bugs stayed with me until I was across the street from the "nature walk" area. By then Mr. Running Podcast said it was time for my next 10 minute run. Ha. Ha. Very funny. No way. I had to walk to catch my breath again.

Ran some of that last segment, walked to cool down, and stretched out. What's funny is how much I was looking forward to running in Houston where it's warm and flat. It's time to rethink those hills back in Massachusetts.

Where's Uncle Chuck when you need him?

Spring here in the northeast is stunning. Celia and I decided it must be a reward for making it through winter that the colors are so varied and beautiful. And they last so long!

The trees are catching my attention now that the tulips are fading. Some have tiny leaves, no bigger than the tip of my finger. Others already have leaves as big as my palm. And the bugs are feasting on some of the tender goodness!

One tree in particular is striking. I don't know what it is, a maple perhaps?
Where's Uncle Chuck, the forester? He would know every tree and shrub and tell me all the details. Ah well. Uncle Chuck is out in the woods of Wisconsin, peacefully enjoying the spring too.

Back to that tree - the leaves come out nearly purple - one day they looked a bit like Welch's Grape Juice with the sun shining through it. They fade to a burgundy or deep rusty color. Now they are shifting slowly to green.

The trees are so striking against the other shades of green, pale, soft and some bright and vibrant.

What's most amazing to me is that it is the end of May and spring is still blooming. Typically the Memorial Day weekend is hyped as the beginning of summer but where I've lived before, it's long since been HOT. James said recently that the weather is already into the 90s every day and he's back to mowing weekly. Meanwhile, up here it hasn't hit 80 once, and is still in the 40s at night. Quite the difference!

Aside from thoughts on the weather, there are two other things on my mind today. First, I have been reading through Isaiah 44-49 these past few nights. It is so comforting, God calling us back, calling us to return, wanting us to be near to God. What I find amazing is that God writes our name in the palm of God's hand - that is apparently what slaves would do - write the name of their master on the palm of their hand. How is it that God who created the universe, God whose love is never ending, God whose mercies never fail - that same God would be a servant and write MY name on God's palm? After reading Job, this is an image to ponder.

The other thing on my mind is paying attention - pay attention to details and the whole. My toe, my hamstring and I went out for a short run this morning. Not enough time for a full run, but needed the exercise so out "we" went. As always, I paid attention to the breath. But this time I paid attention to my toes too. I think what must have happened last Saturday was that I'd been holding tension in my toes, crimping them up and too tightly together. I noticed (details!) that I was doing just that, so I relaxed them so as not to repeat the injury. And yet, I had to pay attention to the whole - stance, stride, relaxing the back muscles, position of the shoulders and head, breathing and rhythms. It's a good thing. My hamstring was just fine today, finally. After a nice long stretch, I felt much better.

But I still don't like running much. :-)

Pet Peeves

Engery Smart! Lasts 8 Years! $54 in energy savings!! Light bulbs that come in a large non-recyclable plastic package. Why bother with the energy savings if the package isn't recyclable?

Meat from the grocery might be "organic" or "grass fed" or "range free" but it comes in a non-recyclable tray.

Other random pet peeves - Hannah Montana. Zoey 101. Suite Life. Sponge Bob. The same episodes. Over and over and over and over and over.......

bookshelf

Found a new feature to put on the blog, a book shelf that looks like a book shelf! What fun.

One of the things I liked best about the MySpace blog was putting up whatever I was listening to or reading at the moment. Now I can share my reading list in a cool way, rather than just a list. Will have to figure out how to take the list off later. Have promised a friend a listing of books, as she's working with the poor and is facing all kinds of questions about povery in America, as well as how easy it is for us in the middle class to feel guilty for a moment and then just go on as usual. Good questions, good struggles. Very much in the tradition of the prophets, I'd say.

I've been reading through Job again recently. It was the first book of the Bible I read through from start to finish when I was nineteen. There's been a lot of life between nineteen and forty-ish. Job reads very differently now. I understand the agony, the bitterness, and the empty words of his friends in a much deeper way now. Having lived through my own agonies and bitterness, I hear Job's distress much clearer. God's answer though, still seems a bit short. Placing Job in the context of the cyclone in Myanmar, Hurricanes Katrina and Rita, and the recent earthquake in China - so many people whose lives are devastated. One brief moment of terror and their lives will never be the same.

I understand that to a degree. Terror, agony, and your life will never be the same. I've lived through hurricanes and tornados but not earthquakes. My home has never been completely destroyed. I understand the loss of loved ones though, and the fear of wondering where to go next, where to put down roots, how will you put down roots again?

God's brief answer to Job and then the restoration of all his family and possessions, doubled over again, that just doesn't seem fair. The families of southern Louisiana and southeast Texas are still struggling to put their lives back together in a minimal way. The families of China who lost their only child will never have their beloved child back. The people in Myanmar are desperate for clean water and a simple meal, never mind a home. How can we say that God will restore?

It's frustrating. And yet, I can't give up hope. I cannot abandon hope in a loving God who will not let us go. It doesn't seem as though life as we know it will ever look like the Job story, but that doesn't mean we have to abandon faith.

I am reminded of a story James told me about the dung beetle he watched while out on patrol one day. Over and over this beetle would push a roll of dung and dirt up a small hill, only to have the roll fall down the hill. The beetle would climb back down and start over again, pushing up the hill.

It seemed an exercise in futility to the outsider. Why bother? But the rolling actually IS part of the dung beetle's existence. Struggling to roll that ball makes a place to store food, and for the females, it can form a place to lay eggs. There is a purpose to the struggle after all.

In our struggles, in our wanderings, in our seeming futility we can find hope and purpose. That's why I refuse to give up on God. The hope and purpose will come clear, in time.

loyalties

I feel divided.

ESPN is broadcasting an Astros game tonight. Quite pleased to see our hometown team again, we're watching the game. It's agony.

Who is this new pitcher? And why oh why are the Good Guys letting the Cubs do things like an In The Park home run??? Argh.

Only after I started yelling at the pitcher and hit the mute button so I didn't have to hear the replay of that home run again, did I realize something... I'm wearing a Red Sox shirt today.

You can't help but like the Red Sox. They suffered through the Curse of the Bambino for so long, and their fans are really devoted. (well, Boston fans are really devoted to ALL their teams) Fenway is the oldest ballpark in the nation, and it's right down the street from BU. I'd love to go to a game someday. It's cheaper to buy a shirt and watch at home, so I bought a shirt.

And started watching the Astros game! LOL Divided loyalties I guess. Funny thing is, I'm normally a really loyal person. I guess I haven't given up the Astros, but have taken on the Sox as team number two.

Lance Berkman is up to bat - Tejada just had a double and stole to third, so I gotta go. :-)

Ouch!

There was a junior high dance Friday night. Full of the possibility of drama. At first my junior high daughter wanted to go, but then she changed her mind. After dropping big sister off at a friend's house for pizza and video games, I took Miss Junior High out for her favorite - McDonald's.

Now, I resist McDonald's because as yummy as it tastes, there will be gastric distress later. I'd like to boycott it, but my boycotts are best saved for another post. Miss Junior High LOVES McD's, so I took her for theraputic burger and fries.

Turns out, the pressures of junior high, friends and dating were overwhelming her. She said she wished they could just all go back to the way it was. Trouble is, you can't go back. We talked about friendships and dating, what people expect of you, that sort of thing. It drives her NUTS that some people will only talk to her to ask about who she's dating, as though that's all there is to her. And since dating and relationships are a major part of junior high life, even her best friendships are affected.

After Burger Therapy and talking with mom, she got all jazzed up and went to the dance. There was a LOT of drama, as expected, but it didn't directly involve her and she had fun. Guess it's all working itself out.

For my own fun, I took my right hamstring out for another walk/run this afternoon. It's crazy how the first run segment is so hard. My brain starts off okay, and the breathing starts okay, but the body argues back. Wouldn't it just be easier to hang out on the sofa and watch a movie?

There were two ten minute run segments. During the walk segment in between the runs, I noticed a little pain on my right toes - I figured it was the sock rubbing wrong on my toes, and just kept running.

Wrong!!

When I took off my shoes to stretch out at home, there was blood all over the right sock. Sheesh. My junior medic cleaned it up, because I HAD to stretch out that right hamstring (it was trying to twinge). Seems one of my nails cut into the toe next to it. Boy am I glad this didn't happen on Sunday.

At least now I really have a good reason for getting that pedicure this week. :-)

observations

After a couple days of yoga and stretches, I decided to take my right hamstring out for a test drive. Did the week six, day one segments and did all the runs. Thank heaven the worst uphill part of my route was a walk segment!

So much comes to me on a run. So many observations that it's hard to remember them all. I'll try to capture a few from yesterday.

Amazing shades of green - the trees are really leafing out, tender new leaves everywhere. The reservation is beginning to look like lace, filtered sunlight.

Confetti - the flowering trees here drop their blossoms all around and it looks like confetti - pink and white and magenta, a festival of spring and new life. Spring is a party!

Trinity - it occurred to me today that the breathing pattern I use is like the Trinity. Celia told me to pay attention to my breathing by counting - so many step breathing in, so many steps breathing out. My pattern is three steps in, three steps out, so that I'm always counting, one - two - three, using the breath, the wind, the Ruach, the Spirit, what makes life possible.

Marlboro - yesterday I ran past a discarded Marlboro box and immediately thought of my dad. It's not odd that a pack of Marlboros would remind me of him, he always smoked the red pack ones, up until six months before he died. What's odd is that several things have reminded me of him recently. Seeing a refrigeration unit and talking about him with my daughters - seeing a pack of cards and realizing I've forgotten how to play gin rummy, which he taught me to play (and beat me at regularly) - seeing something "black cherry" flavored and remembering how we both loved Black Cherry ice cream in the summer.

It's a tender and fragile world we live in. Cherish it and don't take it for granted.

too much too fast

If that pain in the back of my right thigh means anything, it means I did too much too fast. LOL Monday evening my right leg started to hurt - the hamstring that I'd twinged a couple months ago got to really hurting. It's much better now, and if it doesn't rain, I'll be out for a week six run this evening.

This past academic year felt the same way as this 5K run. All excited about it at first, then completely out of my element and nervous. Then the discipline and focus kick in and it's all I can think about - but then I pay the price. For the run, I paid with the hamstring. For the semester, I've paid with my very tired brain.

There have been a couple days since the end of term that I could barely move. I wanted to get things done, I know there are things that need doing, but what sounded most appealing was crawling back under the covers. That fog has finally lifted and I'm back in action. Yay!

One of my classes is working on a statement of reconciliation and peacebuilding for the Decade to Overcome Violence, sponsored by the World Council of Churches. If you have thoughts about reconciliation and peace you'd like to share, I'd love to read your thoughts. Thank you!

flowers for Mother's Day!

James sent me 22 red roses for Mother's Day.

:-) Beautiful!

All done with the race

Nervous but then happy

Before the race and after the race

I ran!

What a day!

Celia twisted her ankle yesterday playing hide n seek with friends (at 16, crazy kids, she reports they had a blast) and considered not running this morning. We assigned her "documentarian" role and had her hold our jackets and take pictures. Five minutes before the race, she changed her mind!

Mary Grace took the stuff back to the car, and I ended up tying my car key to my laces. We took off together but quickly separated. My slow jog was actually faster than Mary Grace's sore muscles (from last week's PE class at school) and Celia's sore ankle. They walked and jogged, Celia going back and forth between us.

I didn't even see mile one, but did get some water at the first table. Walked a few times, but mostly ran. Came up on a pretty little pond with ducks and dark purple flowers. Around a corner, another pond on the other side with ducks and Canada geese, and another family manning a water table, cheering us on. Terrific!

Close to mile two (wasn't I surprised to see the mile marker!) the girls caught up to me. I told Celia (always anxious to zoom ahead and feeling great now) to go ahead and run. Mary Grace's walking speed was actually... my "running" speed. LOL

Lots more cheering and a few hills and downhills, then mile marker three. One of the Running Club members encouraged us and then told us our time (which I didn't really register). At the corner where we started down to the end (back at the beginning actually) we got more encouragement to keep it up. Top of the last hill, another Club member told us to keep up the pace and then turn it on at the end, it's our race! Was just what I needed to hear, my knees were starting to hurt.

Mary Grace ran ahead, then Celia appeared. She'd finished and came back to run with me a bit. I made it across the finish line! Children handed each finisher a carnation. :-)

Our Results:

Celia - 40:45
Mary Grace - 44:32
Me! - 45:21

I went to get some water and a banana, and to walk and cool down. Was hoping to hang around, check out the sponsor tables and get a coffee and bagel - but then they announced that where they'd told us to park - we all needed to move as the business owner was towing cars! Ack! The girls were getting bagels, so I went to move the car, and planned to come back and get them. Didn't know they were following me. So we just went home and stretched out.

All in all, it was a fun day. The girls are doing great, I'm a little sore and I'm sure my right knee will be killing me in the morning, but for now, I'm just happy.